How did I get here? I’d like to say it was easy and I just decided one day that I would get up, start eating healthier and working out religiously, but that would be a complete lie. I believe in complete transparency where my mental health is concerned. These days I don’t hide anything from […]
via How did I get here? Part 1 — I Kept It Moving
Ohhhh the emotions this brought!!!!
The dictionary defines a Narcissist as a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration for themselves. Somehow, I attracted one to me. I did not realize it until after the relationship was over. It wasn’t until I was talking to friends and my therapist about her, did it become blatantly clear that she […]
via No, You’re the Asshole! — I Kept It Moving
🙌
In life, we can sometimes feel as if we are the ocean. Our waves can be slow and peaceful and in a second, change to rough and dangerous. We can capsize anything in our way with just one single wave. We can knock down even the steadiest of people standing in our wake. We don’t […]
via I am like the Ocean — I Kept It Moving
I could read her stuff all day long!!!
Hi Readers, welcome to my blog!! I appreciate you stopping by to see what this is all about. Here I will share some stories, get a little serious (sometimes) and give some tips on what I’ve done to help combat my depression and anxiety over the years. Don’t get me wrong I still suffer daily […]
Dear Nerdy Novice,
I’m so glad I came across this blog! I can use some advice really bad. My boyfriend and I live together. We have a 4 yr old daughter and I do everything and all he does is sit on that stupid PlayStation of his! I’m so frustrated I want to scream! He doesn’t even seem to appreciate anything I do! I make his dinner, cater to his friends, and take care of our daughter. I love him I really do! I am just so overwhelmed and don’t know how to approach it without starting a fight. I’ve asked my friends and all I get is LEAVE HIM or STOP DOING IT! Those are not options to me!!! Please don’t tell me to do those things, Help please!!!
Sincerely,
Katy M.
Dear Unappreciated,
I would never tell anyone to give up so easily on a relationship. As it is, too many people walk away too fast without truly trying to work towards a good relationship. All relationships take hard work and if you love someone you are willing to put that work in. I commend you for reaching out and wanting to work for your relationship. Communication is key! But also one of the hardest things for some people. For our other readers: How often do you feel under-appreciated in a relationship? You cook, clean, go to work, take care of the kids, take the kids places or even do something small for your partner and you just don’t feel they see all the things you do in the relationship and for them? (male or female) If you are feeling this way, maybe your partner feels this way as well. But what if some things we do are the things that are truly appreciated and we don’t even know our partners appreciate them?
Unappreciated, try an appreciation box, so you both can see the things that each other appreciate about each other, or maybe it can help your partner see all the things they may take for granted! It seems easy at first… but wait a bit and even you will find this to be tough! But it really makes couples see the other!
Find 2 boxes or even get a couple bags… grab some paper and a pen! Put these things together either in the kitchen or a common area… you and your partner set who’s box/bag is who’s… maybe tie a ribbon on one or make them different colors. Throughout the day, starting in the am, tear off a piece of paper and write something that you appreciate about your partner and place it in that partners box/bag. If you or your partner leave during the day take it with you! Have at least 10 pieces of paper by the time bedtime comes around. Then sit together and read them.
In the beginning, your partner may not catch everything you do. Do not get discouraged. You probably didn’t catch everything either! But the real catch here is if you repeat something the next day you also have to add something new on the same paper. After a few days, you will eventually run out of things to say… this will make each partner truly look deeper at the other!
We can appreciate many things. Maybe it’s a smile first thing in the morning or that someone made the coffee. You can add your own rules. Maybe make less papers or add a neutral feelings box! (Highly recommended) This box will stay at home and you both will add to it! Always start the note with “I feel (add an emotion)”. For example, “I feel tired. I feel I run too much in the evenings and would love help some days getting the kids to their activities”. Or “I feel frustrated. I feel frustrated because when I get home from work I really need some down time before doing anything else”. NEVER use the word “you”! This will make you think very hard on how to word your thoughts and feelings without placing blame and putting your partner on a defensive thought process. This is called “I you” language. Say what you need without blaming the other party. If I said to you “You never do anything” you will automatically shut down and get defensive. But if I reworded it saying “I feel like I could really use some help” it is received better. (It’s like that saying honey attracts better than vinegar). Another example “ I feel sad. I feel sad that we never watch tv together anymore. Maybe we can find a couple nights to do this together”. Always give a solution that would make the situation better. This will help you and your partner know what the other needs. It will also help each person look closely at each other’s feelings and help communicate them to the other. Maybe for your situation, start with “I feel frustrated and overwhelmed. I feel frustrated and overwhelmed because I don’t feel appreciated for all I do. It would really help me feel better to hear that I am appreciated. I feel overwhelmed and I feel it would really help if we could take turns making dinner or giving our daughter baths during the week”. I hope this helps! I wish you the best of luck and would love to hear how this goes for you!! Till next time, love and light always and good vibes to all!
I have been contemplating on adding advice posts. I want people to feel free to open up and ask whatever their little curious hearts desire. Meanwhile, I can try to reply to each weekly, or as they come in. As a psychology major I would love to use my degree to help people. Questions can be sent to nerdynoviceadvice@gmail.com. We shall see how this goes and where it may lead! Always looking for new adventures! I have been told by a multitude of people over the years I should be doing this, so I am all about giving it a whirl! Never worry about judgement from me as I am a huge believer in we are not here to make judgments, but to lend a hand to all that need because we have all been in that “need” place before. ❤️please note if asked something I’m not familiar with, I will take the time to educate myself on the matter before answering… this may take some time so please be patient so I can give the best advice possible! Till next time, love and light always and good vibes to all!
I watched a movie the other day and something caught my attention and has now been stuck in my head since. It seems to be a bit sad… but yet there is so much truth in it, I cant stop really deeply contemplating it. Think of a box. The image is easy to bring up in your mind… It seems simple enough but how often do you think of a box? According to Merriam-Webster, a box as a “container with or without a cover”. Honestly, it should consume your life a bit and we never really think of it unless we are packing something. Yet, we are born in a box, live in a box, drive in a box on wheels, and we die in a box. We get our food in boxes. We stare at a box all day, if its not a phone it is the TV. We find most of our entertainment in a box: movies, theaters, gaming systems, computers, tablets, pools and even things as big as Broadway! Most reading is done in boxes now with e-books. Our lives are spent revolving in a box, even our bodies could be considered a box for our soul. You can even break down the above things… How many boxes do you have in your home? Each room, closet or cupboard. Our box phones have apps contained in boxes. We lay on boxes to sleep. The term “think outside the box” is used describing the brain, to tell people to think beyond what our minds normally think. Is it strange to just realize this? How our lives seem to be spent in a box. No matter what we do, we will always be in a box. As sad as it does seem, I will make the best of my box! I hope you do as well! Till next time, love and light always and good vibes to all (even if they are in a box!!)
Well, I decided to try this blog thing again! Life got busy, it just happens. Let’s update! I am now 39 years young. My son who is high on the spectrum is 11. And my daughter is 19 going on 20 and she now has a beautiful daughter that is 8 months old. My home is happy, full and the love is flowing strong. I honestly couldn’t ask for more. I know the next few post I will be discussing depression, post-partum and narcissist along with autoimmune diseases/disorders. I have been diagnosed with several since my last post that was forever ago. I have learned so much on this journey. I feel like I am not even the same person that I was just a year ago. It’s funny how life and time can change a person so very much. I don’t feel I even recognize myself. Though, I am not sure if it was a good change or not. I have become somewhat of a hermit. I prefer the quite, calm, less busy part of life. I let very few people in and even less in my presence. My circle shrinks on the daily but, again, I seem to prefer it better that way. Maybe I should change my blog name to “The ramblings of the crazy hermit lady”! I feel it would be such a better fit!! So, that is me all caught up! Till next time, love and light always and good vibes to all!!
Beauty and the Beast!!! All you fifty shades people this sounds awesome and book one is free at amazon! Ella James is an amazing author!! She has great Young Adult books as well! Happy reading!!
http://www.amazon.com/Beast-Part-Erotic-Fairy-Tale-ebook/dp/B00NU6XBKM/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
This is not my typical read. It’s a single, easy, short read and definitely a YA. Not even a whole 300 pages! It took me only several hours to finish it and that was with the constant expected interruptions of my children. It was just wonderful. It left me wanting more as I felt the story had just really started. It brought tears to my eyes a time or two and I absolutely fell in love with all the characters. This would make a great book for a rainy Saturday, a commute, or a plane ride. There were times it seemed to lose me. I felt as though it left some thoughts or scenes incomplete, but maybe the author just wanted my imagination to run away with it. I just prefer to know exactly what is going on, so it was frustrating at times. I don’t even know if I’d call it a book, but maybe a short story. Blumenthal could have taken this so much farther. It really doesn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason, it just goes with whatever. I think it could have been better developed and turned out just one heck of a book. Overall though, I loved it and it made me smile throughout the book!! That’s what life’s about, right? Happy!! It was also uplifting and covered an array of issues teens face but in a fun and mysterious environment! I got it from the local library and I am so glad I did. I don’t think I would have been as happy paying the Amazon price of $7 for it. Even the ebook format is pushing $7. That just seems a little outrageous for this book, being it’s so… Short! Worth the read, but not $7!! Haha
Welcome To My Geekdom 